Our memories play a confusing role
by mysteriouslycrazy
Summary: They've been together for 3 months and they love each other but what made Shinichi confused? And what if Shiho's 1st love suddenly shows himself in the picture and make her confuse as well, will their relationship still work out or will confusion end up everything they have.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Detective Conan.

**THIS IS MY FIRST FANFIC.**

**SO, PLEASE BEAR WITH IT.**

**Chapter 1**

"_I love you"_

_These are the words I'm longing to hear from you but I guess, these words were also one of your April Fool's tricks which I stupidly fell for._

-…..-

_**(Ai's POV)**_

_**100%- APTX 4869 ANTIDOTE COMPLETED**_

I smiled to myself as I repeatedly read the text encoded in my computer. After the fall down of the black organization I finally got my missing data and now, I already made an antidote and we can go back to our true form.

"Hey" Conan said hugging me from behind. "I was calling you a hundredth times already. What's the matter, Ai?"

"Look!" I said pointing to my computer. His eyes widened in shocked.

"Wooah. You're a genius Ai.! Really!"

I smiled. He's beyond happy and seeing him happy is what makes me happy. He wants to be Shinichi and I want to be Shiho as well so that we can be together forever.

"Oh, btw, Ai. Can we take it this week then? You know, for Ran's wedding?"

At the mention of Ran; I suddenly felt something- Jealousy? Betrayal? Hatred?

'_together forever?' _who am I kidding.

"Ai?"

"oh! Yeah! If you say so, Shinichi"

"Thanks! I'll go tell Hakase" he said kissing me slightly on the cheek before turning away.

I let out a sigh as I touched my cheek where he kissed me. '_We've been together for about 3 months now but do you still love her, Shinichi?'_

(Flashback- 3 months ago)

"Here Kudou- kun. It's a 6 hour temporary antidote, so obviously it's only a short period of time. Be sure to be here before you turn back to Conan" I said with my usual I -don't-care-with-you voice but deep inside it really hurts.

"Thanks."

.

.

.

I remained awake although it's already 12:30 in the morning, but of course being trained by a bloody organization I really don't care about the time, I am used to it by the way.

"5 hours 59 minutes 39 seconds passed. Where the hell are you Kudou?" being the super-worried-Watson-to-Sherlock I am, I was about to grab my coat and my outdoor shoes when someone rang the doorbell. (A/N: Guess where she got that time telling style ^. ^ )

I immediately opened it revealing the face of Kudou-kun himself.

"Hai-ba-ra" he uttered before passing out right in front of me.

.

.

(After 20 minutes 27 seconds)

"ahh!" he shouted in pain while touching his forehead.

"Passing out right in front of me is really a great idea Kudou-kun"

"what happened?"

"I don't really know what happened between you and your girlfriend a while ago. All I know is that you got that bruise in your forehead because of passing out in front of a girl who in fact can't able to catch your heavy athletic body and thanks by the way, I've got an information about the antidote- it lasted 6 hours 35 minutes now, longer than I expected." I said walking away, afraid to hear what happened between him and Mouri- san.

I was about to enter my room when suddenly someone grabbed my hand, my heart beat faster than ever upon recognizing who he was. I turned around to face him and was shocked when I saw hurt in his one's cheerful cobalt blue eyes.

"Haibara…."

I didn't say anything. He stared at me and I stared back. I was about to break the silence when he suddenly hugged me while saying those words I knew he will never ever try to say to anyone including me. It will always be her. It will always TO her.

"I love Ran…. And I know she loves me to… but *sob* why... Haibara... *sob* why?"

_You're lucky Mouri- san... you really are lucky. I am your opposite- the cursed one… you have everything… all…. Including him… and what do I have- that bloody organization and my fellow murderers_.

I was too engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't even notice I am also crying- again because of him. He let go of me this time, and I, having the reputation of 'the ice queen' wiped it as fast as I can, afraid that he'll notice I'm crying.

"I- I- I'm sorry, Haibara. It's just that…."

"it's ok. Say it if you want to... It's nice to open something you can't handle anymore."

He smiled. I smiled back.

"I- uhmm…" he stuttered blushing madly. _Wait? Blushing? No. Stop it.. You'll never be that girl who can make him blush Shiho… never.._

"The truth is, she let go of me… she said yes to Araide- sensei. She's getting married... She… uhm… I – I need to go. Thanks, Ja ne." He said walking away but I clearly saw that he's crying again... All because of her...and how ironic because I am also crying all because of him….

I went downstairs, in the lab to be exact with the thought of finishing the antidote, setting aside my sleepiness all because of him… _it's always you Shinichi, it's always you._

(The next day)

I was ready to leave Hakase's house when I caught a glimpse of someone leaning at the doorframe, with a wide smile- well, fake smile and a huge eye bags plastered in his handsome face…

"yo! Haibara!" he shouted. I rolled my eyes annoyed at his idiotness.

"skip school"

"nani?"

"skip school my dear Sherlock"

"huh? I want to go to school"

"oh yeah right. Go to school then and scare the kids including Kobayashi- sensei with that kind of face". I said sarcastically. He scratched the back of his head before shrugging.

"fine, I'll stay here at Hakase's then" he said grinning widely. "Ja, take care Haibara!"

"of course I will tantei- kun… we all will because you're not with us… death magnet!" I retorted with a smirk.

"this girl…."

.

.

.

The events at the school were boring as ever, without Kudou-kun to play along. I was now at Hakase's door, my hand in the door knob when I heard voices very familiar to me.

"Shin- chan! Stop this nonsense.. move on" a feminine voice said.

"Kaa- san.. I-"

"move on. Darling, your handsome and smart.. Well, quite dense.. Oh scratch that- you're REALLY dense.. but you're worth it.. move on…if Ran- chan can, so do you…"

"how?, huh?. It's easy to say, difficult to do.."

"then what about going out with someone Shin- chan…"

"with someone? who?"

"someone you've got for a long time.. FOR A LONG TIME.."

"for a long time, huh? Well, Ayumi- chan? You've gotta be kidding me"

"tuttt. Nope.. Shin."

"then who?, Sonoko?, Kazuha?- she's with Heiji, ok!"

"dense as ever… I can't imagine that my son is this dense.."

"taku, stop insulting me will ya.… well, I don't really have a lot of .. Wait? Masaka? You're suggesting… Haibara?"

_Finally noticing me among those girls, eh tantei- san?_

"yup.. she's suitable for you.. Much more than Ran- chan do… try going out with her.. oh, btw, gotta go Shin- chan, think about it… Ja ne.."

I was about to walk away when Shinichi's mom opened the door, shocked as I am.

"oh.. Ai- chan. How are you?" she smiled at me looking back at the closed door like someone who's afraid to spill something important.

"I' m fine. What about you?"

"fine.! As always.."

"ah. Ja.. I need to go.."

"wait Ai- chan.."

"nani?"

"I will make this straight to the point.. Date with Shin- chan pls…he needs to move on.."

"I…:"

"pls.. I was just worried for my son. Just do it as a favour pls."

"I- uhmm. . fine."

"thanks Ai- chan. . thanks."

.

.

.

(After a week of MOVING ON DATE PLAN)

We are now walking back to Hakase's house after a movie date when suddenly he stops at his tracks, making me stop as well.

"Kudou- kun?" I asked confused by his actions.

".."

"We need to go now."

"Mom made you right?, mom made you go out with me.. It's nothing for you... It's just nothing for you. You just did it because of her"

"Kudou- kun?" I asked again, more confused than ever. I tried to read his eyes but it was covered with his bangs.

"It's nothing for you… I know… but I just want you to know that... THIS... EVERYTHING... MATTERS TO ME AI!.."

I was shocked by him calling me by my 1st name... Fake name to be exact... I just stood there, watching him shouting angrily.

"Being with you, holding your hand, all this acts... All this stupid moving on plan matters to me!... Maybe, you didn't notice… it worked... But I guess... This will always be an act…"

He finally lifted his head, showing his eyes- sad eyes... he smiled at me… a sad smile…

"I LOVE YOU... I LOVE YOU AI! I've fallen in love with you" he confessed. I was shocked and I was trembling. I just can't believe what he just said... tears flowed down my cheeks…

"I … I love you too Shinichi." I finally confessed. He then ran towards me, hugging me tightly before repeating those words I'm really longing to hear from him.

"I love you..." he said before placing his lips on mine.

(End of flashback)

_Is saying "I LOVE YOU" just one of your April Fool's Day trick which I stupidly fell for, Shinichi?_

_**End of Chapter 1**_


	2. Chapter 2: THE MEMORIES OF A FIRST LOVE

Thank you soooooooooooooooo much for all the reviews! I really appreciate all of them… sorry for the late update -it's all because of our Final exam for this semester. GOMEN! so, here's the next chapter everyone! =)

….

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Detective Conan- it's Gosho Aoyama sensei's masterpiece.

**CHAPTER 2: THE MEMORIES OF A FIRST LOVE**

**(Shiho's POV)**

-The wedding. 7:00 pm-

"Tomoaki Araide, do you accept Mouri Ran as your wife in sickness and in health, till death do you part?" the voice of the old priest echoed throughout the walls of the beautiful but old church.

"I do" Araide- sensei answered. Suzuki Sonoko, Nakamori Aoko and Toyama Kazuha giggled while Hattori Heiji and Kuroba Kaito just smiled. I looked at the man sitting beside me and I could see hurt and regret in his eyes. I remained silent, ignoring what I just saw but it came clear to me when the priest asked the bride the same question he asked to the groom.

"Mouri Ran, do you accept Tomoaki Araide as your husband in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"

There was a long awkward silence. I can see Mouri's parents and friends worried look but after 5 minutes 43 seconds, she answered.

"I do". I look at Shinichi again and what I saw is not only my imagination. He's hurt. I wanted to cry as I look back at Mouri- san, who in fact sneaking a glance at the man beside me.

'_So, this is the reason why you wanted to take the antidote now? If I were not your girlfriend, will you ever try to stop this wedding? Will you let her go? Will you, Shinichi?'_

It was more than painful to see this scene, I feel like Araide- sansei and I are just some troublesome hindrances between the two lovers. I went outside excusing myself- saying I needed to go to the bathroom but it was futile since Shinichi didn't even took a glance at me before I leave.

I didn't go to the bathroom; I just walked and walked until I found a bar. I went inside, not bothering how formal my clothes are- I just need a drink in order to forget this pain, even just for a bit.

"Sherry, please!" I ordered. My order came and I drank it in one gulp. I ordered again for who-knows how many times. I was drunk. I know I am but I just continued ordering.

"hey! Wanna dance with me, miss?" a man said.

I want to ignore him but because I'm drunk, I agreed-not even bothering if he's a pervert or a stupid maniac. I just agreed.

He led me to the dance floor holding my waist tight. We stayed there, dancing like an idiot when suddenly I noticed he's moving closer to me. I tried to free from him but he really secured me tightly. I tried again but to no avail. I'm drunk but I'm still that trained member of an organization. I'm not a typical high school girl, idiot at times like this- but still, he's a man stronger than me so this time anxiety came over me. _'Shinichi…. Shini...'_

"Hey! Move man!" I wished it was Shinichi but I guess he'll never be.

"Hey! Stop doing that to my girl!" he said again, this time pulling me towards him. The pervert man in the other hand just walked away, scowling at the man who saved me from him.

"Miss- - you're a girl, you shou…." He stopped mid- sentence. I looked at him and I was shocked just like him, then he smiled and said:

"My, my, dear Shiho... Long-time no see" this time, he pulled me to a tight hug, sniffing my hair like someone who is mesmerized by a flower's scent. He let go of me this time.

"Saguru…..?" I smiled to him… "thanks by the way"

"oh. Don't mention it… your still gorgeous as ever Shiho…"

"stop kidding me will yah.." I said earning a wide grin from him

"alone at this time of night in a dress like that, in a bar like this Shiho… are you mad?.. It's not like you…. Come… I'll drive you home.." he said pulling me out of that filthy bar.

.

.

.

I was about to check the time while we're on our way when suddenly he broke the silence

"12:53:39"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"The time, my dear... Your checking the time so I- gave you the time…"

"oh. . yeah. . . I forgot, you're the time freak" I said smirking.

"Oh. . shut up. . Science addict" he retorted smugly.

"still that arrogant, buoyant, feeling-handsome-and-hot- guy are we?. Mr. Hakuba Saguru"

"oi! Oi!. Well, you forgot one important thing dear…"

"and what is it?"

"sweet" he said, kissing me in the cheek in a flash.

I glared at him but he just gave me that smile… that smile which can make every girls fall in love with him. . . that smile very similar to HIM. . . at the thought of Shinichi, I suddenly felt the pain again.

"what's wrong, Shiho?" he asked, gently tapping my shoulder.

"nothing CASANOVA" I answered, putting my mask once again. This time, we are already in front of Hakase's house (I told him the address before entering his oh-so-expensive looking car).

"Thanks. .Well then, looks like I need to go now" I said, smiling at my childhood friend but before I can open his car's door. .

"wait. ." he said, going out as fast as he can; and before I can object, he's suddenly in front of me offering his hand, of course being the gentleman he was… I took it then suddenly he pulled me out of his car. Once we are outside, he hugged me like there's no tomorrow. I smiled to myself. _'He really is something'._

We stayed like that for who-knows how long. Neither Saguru nor I have the courage to break the silence not until…

"I missed you so much Shiho… you don't have any idea how I've missed you damn much." He said, pulling me closer to him. "I tried to find you, through social networking sites, universities and even clubs- you know those about science . . . how silly of me, of course, you will never engage in that kind of social things" this time, he let go of me. I can now finally see his eyes, full of happiness and relief. "I was worried. Where are you? How are you?; then thank God I found you. ."

"I'm fine Saguru. . You're worrying too much. . Relax" said I, smiling.

He gently cupped my cheeks with both hands and said, "How can I relax if the most important person in my life is nowhere to be found? You didn't even bid me good bye. . On that day. . . . "

I can now see sadness in his captivating eyes. _'You still remember that day . . . ..'_

**(Flashback)**

-10 years ago. Somewhere in London-

"Be sure to be here Shiho. I need to tell you something. . Be here at exactly 7:00 pm. Ok?" Hakuba Saguru said while holding his childhood friend's delicate hand.

"Of course I will. . . Mr. Time Enthusiast. ." I retorted, smirking.

"Time is gold Shiho."

"I know. . ."

I waited for his remark but he didn't. _'I wonder'_. So, I looked at him and found that he's staring at me.

"What? Found me pretty?" I said jestingly. I was about to laughed when suddenly he pulled me closer, our faces an inch apart.

"Beautiful. . ."

". . ."

"Your beautiful, wait. . Beyond beautiful. ." said he. This time, he kissed me by the cheek which made me blushed.

"Well then, I need to go . . . Be sure to be here tomorrow . . . my love". The last two words were said in a whisper but I heard it nonetheless.

'_I'm sorry Saguru. . .I want to but I guess it's better this way. . . I really am, sorry' _

**-The next day, 7:00 pm-**

Saguru ran as fast as he can to their meeting place but seeing that his childhood friend is still not there he sighed.

"Thank God. . . I came here first" he smiled as he flipped something in his right hand.

**-7:55:32 pm-**

"She's late. . I wonder. .hmm, might as well call her . . . unattended. . Why?"

**-8:28:10 pm-**

"where are you Shiho. . ? . .where are you?" he silently said as tears flows down in his handsome face.

"I can wait. . I WILL wait. ."

**-9:05:55 pm-**

"Shiho. . ." he said to himself.

People who noticed him just smiled to him sadly, pitying the young handsome boy. He's still standing there, not even checking what time is it until. .

"Saguru. . .!" a feminine voice shouted

"Shiho?" he asked with hope in his eyes.

"oh come on boy, standing here waiting for a girl. . what time is it. ."

"mom." He said nonchalantly upon recognizing it's his mother.

"come on" his mom said pulling him towards the car.

-At the back of a tree, near where Saguru is waiting-

I was standing here, earlier than Saguru. At exactly 7, I can see him running as fast as he can with something on his hand. I didn't get out where I was and I don't have any intension to do so. It's better this way. I can't let Saguru near me. I don't want him to be with a murderer.

Seconds, minutes, hours passed, he's still waiting for me. I can't take seeing him sad but it's for his own good. Thanked God his mother came. .

As I watched them sped off with their car, I got out on where I was and went to where my childhood friend waited; I saw something- -tears flowed down my cheeks when I saw what it was- a heart shaped chocolate, 3 red roses and a letter. I opened the letter and read it. . I cried even more holding the letter he gave me, the letter saying what he feels, the letter saying that my love for him is never been an unrequited love.

'_I'm sorry Saguru. I can't. We can't, I'm sorry- my first love'_

(End of Flashback)

"don't worry, past is past." He said. "Do you remember that I have something to tell you before . . .?". I nodded, then he continued "Shiho, I still lo-" but he was cut off by Shinchi who- we didn't even notice standing near us.

"oi! Get off her! – Shiho, where have you been?!" Shinichi shouted, pulling me away at Saguru's grip. He scowled at Saguru while Saguru just smiled at him.

"my! My!. Kudou Shinichi-kun right?, maybe you don't know me, so- Hakuba Saguru at your service" he said offering his hand but Shinichi didn't accept it. I remained silent as I felt the tension around him and my childhood friend.

**End of Chapter 2: THE MEMORIES OF A FIRST LOVE**

Hope you guys like it!

And to **Coolshiho**- you guessed it right… It's Hakuba Saguru…

I know the thought of him as Shiho's first love is not a shocking news (because he's also half- British and half-Japanese) and it's kinda usual and familiar but then again I just can't get Hakuba Saguru out of my mind and he's totally HOT , as in sizzling hot-hotter than Shinichi himself in my own opinion. … lol

So, Pretty please with a cherry on top- **REVIEW** everyone….


	3. Chapter 3: REALIZATION

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN DC**

**CHAPTER 3: REALIZATION**

**(Shinichi's POV)**

"oi! Kudou! Kudou! Kudou" Hattori shouted in front of my face.

"wha- what?" I asked completely irritated with him.

"what's wrong with you? Are you sick?" he asked, moving closer to me. He placed his forehead in my forehead checking if I have a fever or not; his both hands on my face.

-Click-

Our heads turned to the direction of the sound and we saw that it was the great magician Kuroba Kaito himself, holding his Cannon Digital SLR camera.

"what the?" Hattori said.

"go on" Kuroba retorted with that irritating smile on his face.

"go on what?" Hattori asked. I, in the other hand remained silent.

"you're planning to kiss right? Now go! hahahaha" he said, running away for his life. Hattori looked at me and seeing how close our faces are, he removed his hands on my face and backed off as fast as he can.

"you! Baka!" he shouted. "that magician, he'll be dead"

I didn't say anything. I just remained sitting at my previous seat like some kid who's lost and didn't even know where he was.

"seriously Kudou. What's wrong with you?"

"huh?"

"HUH? for a great detective, well I'm greater than you of course, didn't even notice I was angry"

"angry on what?"

"angry on what?. Oh, dammit!, seriously?, Kuroba just took a picture of us close to each other!. Moron!" he shouted angrily with his Kansai dialect.

"picture?"

"oh. Holy sh*t Kudou. You didn't notice?"

". . ."

"yah! I guess you didn't even notice that the ceremony is over- that Ran- neesan is already at the back garden for the reception; and maybe you didn't even notice that important thing that you should notice yourself. . . you didn't even notice that Miyano, your girlfriend Kudou is nowhere to be found. . that you didn't even notice she told us she will just use the bathroom but she didn't came back. .huh?. . did you even notice her eyes?. . . I guess not . . . how did you became a great detective if you can't even notice these things but I guess, who am I to judge. . well, it's up to you to notice other things. . if you can notice it yourself, Kudou. . . well, see you at the reception hall . ." he said, this time with much calmer state. I just stayed there, looking at his retreating back. . _'Shiho'_

I ran towards Hakase's house, deducing the fact that she's not at the reception hall.

I opened Hakase's house with my spare key but she's nowhere to be found. Hattori's right, how did I became a great detective if I didn't even notice that Shiho's not with me.

'_where are you Shiho?'_

I called her phone but she's not picking it up. _'where the hell are you?'_

I grabbed my skateboard when I was Conan and started looking for her. I looked on every park, mall and everything but at this time of night it's harder than I thought.

I went back at hakase's house only to find Hakase alone.

"where is she? Where's Ai-kun, Shinichi?" he asked me. I just looked at him with my most apologetic look. I am ashamed, ashamed that I didn't even notice her daughter left.

I was about to say something when I heard tires stopped in front of Hakase's house. I went outside as fast as I can, hoping that it was Shiho; with Hakase following me. As I opened the door, I saw Shiho being hugged by a blond man- I easily recognized him, he's Hakuba Saguru. I went straight to the gate, opening it but they seemed to not notice me.

'_Is this the feeling of unnoticed?' _

I just stood there waiting for the opportune moment. Finally, he let go of her but what is happening is something I can't take- I CAN NO LONGER TAKE.

"don't worry, past is past." He said. "Do you remember that I have something to tell you before . . .?". Shiho nodded, then he continued "Shiho, I still lo-"

Then, at that moment I cut what he is going to say by shouting "oi! Get off her! – Shiho, where have you been?!" and pulled Shiho away from him. I scowled at him but he just smiled at me in return.

"my! My!. Kudou Shinichi-kun right?, maybe you don't know me, so- Hakuba Saguru at your service" he said, offering his hand but I didn't took it. Why should I?. Shiho in the other hand remained silent, uncomfortable with the tension we have.

"I didn't know you're acquainted with the detective of the east Shiho" he said looking intently at me.

"ah! Yes Saguru, he's my.."

I cut her off by confidently saying, "Boyfriend. I'm her boyfriend and you are?"

"oh. I'm afraid I'm just her childhood friend" he said. I smiled boastfully at him.

"hmm" I said controlling myself not to laugh.

"I guess I'm just her childhood friend. . well you must be a good boyfriend. . a very good boyfriend indeed" he said with his British accent which irritates me a lot. "A boyfriend who left her precious girlfriend in a bar **ALONE**. . . or maybe, by what you said a while ago- 'where have you been' was it?, . .You didn't even know where she is. Oh,. . . by the look of it- **YOU MUST BE A VERY GOOD BOYFRIEND**"

I tried to suppress my irritation but I can't- so I punched him as hard as I could. He didn't say anything; he just stood there while I clutched his collar tightly.

"stop it! Shinichi!" Shiho said pulling me away from Hakuba.

"Saguru. Are you okay?" she asked completely focused on the injured Hakuba. "come on- I'll treat you inside" she added looking at me disgustingly.

I didn't do anything- I don't have the courage anyway. I was nothing more than a complete idiot. Hattori was right, Hakuba was right, Mom was right. . .

I was nothing more than a completer idiot. .

I was nothing more than a fool. . .

**End of Chapter 3: REALIZATION**

I NEED YOUR REVIEWS EVERYONE... PRETTY PLEASE... [insert puppy-dog-eyes]


End file.
